Its Ok To Change.

How many of you have found yourself thinking about when you were much younger and think "who the heck was that?"

I have.

This post is another personal one, about the changes I've been through this year - including my relationship and growing up!
If its not your cup of tea, please enjoy the random awkward photos of myself as a teen through to now.
AGE 14

So I am now 23 years old, living alone in London and working a full time job.
Currently seeking 10 cats and flowery bonnet. Sigh...  #singlelife

Recently Ive caught myself thinking about when I was 18; about the person I was, the friends I had, my likes and dislikes, my values...


 
AGE 15

I am not that same girl anymore, I am completely different. Virtually everything has changed and at first it scared me!

I went through a phase this year where for weeks I would mope around, cry, not eat and generally just be unhappy all because I had begun to notice how much I'd changed, Other people had even started to notice and would tell me "Gem, you're different...", which made it worse in a way! I didn't know who I was anymore. I didn't know if this change in me was for the good...

  
AGE 16
Since I was 18 I had been in a relationship. It was a pretty intense one and we had been through a lot of ups and downs together. We were in a relationship for 4 and a half years, which is a hell of a long time to be with someone from such a young age. A lot of our time together was long distance, and this time around, this year, I had started to change. Of course he was the first person to notice, he knew me better than anyone!


AGE 17
I don't know why this change in me had kicked in at that point, or what caused it. I put it down to the fact I was growing up. Being in a relationship for so long had hindered my growth as a person, and the time we spent away from each other allowed me to breathe and change. This year he was away for longer than usual on different occasions, I guess being alone forced me to be dependent on myself rather than someone else which was what I was used to.
AGE 18


I am in no way blaming my past relationship for this lack of growth, the most part of it was wonderful, and I don't regret a thing. I just realised once I was out of it how different I am from the person that entered it.

Its strange, I was told once that generally you find your true personality at around 19 or 20. But because I was in a serious relationship where major changes in either person is a no-no, I wasn't able to develop.  That sounds like a foetus in a womb, but you get the gist of what I'm saying!!
It most likely was the case for the both of us, unable to grow properly, stuck as the kids we were way back when we met. 
AGE 19
I felt so guilty for changing as a person, because of course I wasn't the girl he fell in love with anymore. This new girl was more independent, stronger, a little more opinionated, which are not bad traits to have at all, but a shock to come home to when all you want is the girl you left behind. It was fustrating for the both of us.

This must be how teens feel... not knowing who they are... constantly changing... I guess I was late to this growing up party (story of my life really!)
AGE 20


But you know what, I am so glad I changed. The old me was just a little girl, dependent on everyone else but herself, over emotional, and willing to back down on any argument just to make the other person happy! Compromises are all well and good but when they start to hold you back from what you want just to make the other happy, that's where the issues start.
AGE 21

I do admit, the old me comes out sometimes, I still will do anything and everything to please people I care about, whilst holding back my own issues and problems. 

All I'm getting at here is that change is good. It helped me to grow as a person, it's made me happier than I have ever been, because I finally have learned to love me (not always but sometimes) ahead of others. Its taught me that I don't have to compromise all the time, if there is something I want I can get it if I really want to!
AGE 22


Most of all its taught me I can be alone and still be happy. Being single does have its drawbacks obviously (Starbucks dates by yourself can get a bit tedious...), but mostly its exciting. 

So hang in there teens, I finally know what you are going through. Its scary as hell, but exciting at the same time, I can't wait to see what the universe has planned next for me!
AGE 23


Gem

Song of the Day:


Keane - Everybody's changing





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