Why I don't blog anymore

Being a mum is hard.

Not exactly ground breaking news, but for me it is. I always pictured myself as one of those mums who have it together - can juggle their work and home life perfectly all the while maintaining healthy relationships with their partner and friends and family too. 

I am far from one of those mums. It breaks my heart that I can't be the "perfect mother", but I have found it physically impossible. 

If I excel at one part of my life, another is always compromised.

(My little family)

And I guess that's what happened with blogging. 

I've always loved the idea of being a blogger and have previously strived to find the time to sit down and write killer posts that would accelerate me high up into the blogging world, to be one of those girls with the insta-perfect life and a beautiful instal feed with healthy blog ratings. 

But that never happened. 

I never got the ratings I wanted, never could get the pictures just right, never could find the right amount of time to really focus on the blogging side. And because of this I would give up! Like a roller coaster I'd find the motivation to sit down at my keyboard and write, hoping today was the day that I could turn this whole thing around and really go for it, only to crash down a few days or weeks later when I couldn't commit to another post and be consistent.

That's probably what's happening right now to be honest. I am sat here on my bed during my one day off a month, baby is in nursery, laundry is done and I have a spare hour to kill before I put a chicken in the oven to roast for dinner tonight and I start reading journal articles for my postgraduate course essay that's due in a few months... At least I'm trying!

(Please appreciate it took me an hour, 2 cups of tea and 6 rich teas to take this photo...)

Even though I don't post regularly, I have never given up to the point of deleting my blog. I constantly think of ideas I'd love to write about or come up with ways to relaunch my blog and stick to a plan!

I always see posts on Facebook and Instagram from girls I used to know who also have found blogging as a hobby, some of them have really taken to it and made it into their main source of income, which is amazing! But I really can't help but hate them a little bit. Maybe not hate, that's a strong word but you get the idea, I'm jealous. 

"Turn your side hustle into your main hustle" is the expression that's being thrown about a lot at the moment - I SO want this to be true for me but blogging isn't even my  "side hustle" yet! Unlike a lot of those other girls I have a little girl who is dependant on me still and is relying on me working full-time so I can give her a happy and healthy childhood!

One day I wil find my stride and figure this all out. I will have a healthy little blog that I will love to post on, I won't get stressed out about people reading it or being successful from it, because to be honest there is so much content out there on the internet that the chances of my little corner of the world finding the light is very very very slim. And that's ok...

If you happen to stumble upon my blog, have a read of my previous posts and show some support! leave a comment to let me know your thoughts! Any type of comment, criticism or otherwise is totally welcome.

Until next time, whenever that may be!

Gem

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